Lord Endymion's Tower

The endless quest for mare serenitatis...

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
Shield of thorns, as in "blackthorn"...
One trick I learned with age, to shelter me against potentially overwhelming romantic feelings, besides my guarded stance, it's to use my "Sight" to find perceived faults in a likely candidate which in time end up numerous enough to be so heavy that the emotion becomes unsustainable.

That applies mostly to new persons since many people I knew changed in such depths that the even my old self wouldn't touch them with a 10-foot pole. Not that I am one to talk. Other than my nearly unchanged physical appearance, I'm burdened by three unhealthy pillars that should in normal circumstances be something that supports one's existence: family, company and state.

Speaking of which recently I noticed that, assuming full employability at standart portuguese wages, if I were to live more 30 years I'd make at most 200-300k in total.
Thats a prospect meager enough that serves as extra motivation to perusing  more creative endeavors as citizen of the world and not be limited by the more local, unpleasant circumstances. In fact, its the only way out of this succession of fates that I can see:
to keep educating myself, to create things, to explore new challenges.

And maybe, just maybe, someday I'll find someone that I can be fond of in spite of the numerous faults I can summon up as a shield to my soul.

Latest dream: I learned that used cars share the karma of their (former) owners...


Log in

No account? Create an account