Endymion Blackthorn

My health has seen far better days than these. My desktop also seems to have suffered some fatality (either motherboard or processor) but at least the hard drives are intact so its not that troublesome: it only means I wont play computer games other than web or emulated ones, but there are worse fates than that. Cash is far from plentyfull due to family and state reasons. I'm also working alot so rest is also an issue. Plus insomnia.

So.. one could say that I've been going through a degree of misfortune as of late. Maybe so. But there's one thing I can say: I'm not bored.

Tech-wise, I'm doing some experiments with construct 2 and phonegap. I can see why so many are betting on html5 for development. Going retro in the way of gaming for inspiration is also is quite refreshing.

Sylvan-wise I've decided to explore natural refuges, ruins and landscapes area by area in a growing radious expanding from my dwelling place outwards, starting with the district as a whole. Wanderlust ensues...

And given that I kind of found some interesting forum to read, maybe things even out, and I find myself somewhat more sociable. Just a tiny bit.

...a while back, on Belem, Game On event...

The sad remnant of the glory of old greeted us (the days when white elephants roamed free)

Entrance to the gates of heaven...

Some veteran honorable champions...

May the force be with you...

Childhood object of desire..

Neo-Geo + Metal Slug = Pure Fun...

More gaming goodness..

Evil pirate lives forever...

I may be getting old... or the microsoft wing of the event looked rather bland and unappealing in contrast to all those colorful classics.

Toys, toys, and even more toys...

Another sort of heaven on the horizon..

Who said no cute girls ever play games?

Lately a significant portion of my time is spent working, in sequences of 4 days, 12 hours. So I tend to feel too tired to write these days. Living in this country where the prevalent state of mind is worthy of a "Les Miserables" tale, where one is either bound by either circumstances or lack of resources is starting to make me feel rather weary.

Found two decent strategy games, "Hegemony Gold" and "Crusader Kings II", but most of my gaming time as of late is spent on "Eien no Aselia". The game is incredibly long: even while skipping some text if probably spent more hours going through the whole story than exploring Fallout 3 territory..
An interesting discovery was that being forgotten by precious persons (sort of like mass amnesia induced by magic or time paradoxes and the likes) is far easier to accept and deal with if we are the protagonist of the tale as opposed to being an observer. I felt rather frustrated with the premature ending of the manga "Kagami no Kuni no Harisugawa", under a similar event.

Another surprise was Puella Magi Madoka Magica. As I hadn't watched the series yet I was wondering why that magical girl-themed anime was so popular. The truth was that under that whole pinkyness and girlish cutesy stuff was a gruesomely disturbing series with complex magical dynamics such as time paradoxes, amoral familiars with a rather hefty price for the contract that granted them power and even the discovery that their existence was a state of demi-lichdom where their true body was their "lamen".

Fun :)

Yesterday was a rather nasty day and thus I was tired enough to delay this entry. So here's the creative result of yesterday's 5-hour sleep:

A friend of mine desired something interesting to do so I asked of him: "How about ruling hell?". How was that possible? It seemed that the current prince of hell owed me a favor and being that he was kind of bored in his role he wouldn't mind if someone took charge for at least a while.
I thus ventured with him towards Lisbon, descending some sort of corridor leading into a cave under a building somewhere along "Avenida da Liberdade", where some goth-mooded "cultists" gathered in a low-light sort of pub, with tables and drinks but no music at the time (enjoying the silence? *muses*).
I nodded towards the barkeep, whom I knew and obviously knew me, and entered an unimposing door in the back of the counter.

The next corridor ventured into a great open hall, much like a indoors great market where people essentially drifted aimlessly. After solving the deal that lead me into the place, I met a former schoolmate I once enjoyed having conversations with (nickname Sivi) that was seeking the way out. There were many doors in the place, but everytime someone entered one it would always lead again towards inside, regardless of the door one picked.

The solution was rather simple. The place was huge, was illuminated by artificial lights but it had many huge windows with shut blinds. One only had to open one and leave.
I chose one in a far corner mindful of guards and even joked with my travel companion that hell had a shortage of personal these days, but the truth was, after some thought, that hell really does not need jailors to keep people in. Humans are so focused on finding the "right" door that leads out that they never really notice the windows. Some are even trapped for "eternity".

Its interesting that in my journeys through different hells and dreamworlds I'm not, like most humans, shackled by the unsaid rules or assumptions present in such places. I'm an outsider, clearly enjoying thinking outside the box. It's what I do with that knowledge, and the decision to use it or not that matters though, I guess.

And so it is that she ventures into environments that brings her ever closer to the kinds of humans she used to despise in her youth. I wonder if she looks at them with the same eyes, or time and experience made her more forgiving...
Dealing with sharks, people who would make fun of her work, while seeing the reality in its crudest sense where so many things precious becomes either statistics or credits, and are used to accomplish some sort of obscure agendas or less than noble aspirations, this would certainly put some strain in her soul and explains some of her visible sorrow.

Don't take me wrong, this ain't pity. I'm happy that she has accomplished so much in her own little corner of the world. This is recognition of an old truth: that life is often far from being simple, or pleasant, and that it seldom becomes what we would make it out to be. And yet she strives forward, venturing on and achieving things ,while leaving tiny but noticeable (and thus traceable) footprints in this world.

And while its not really my place to say this, and unlikely as is that she will ever read these words as most of my past is fated to drift ever distant from my present goals, by my own choice and power, I can't avoid but to state this heartfelt feeling:

"I'm proud of you, my little dream."

There are days that I feel as if a mad god has descended upon the land and filled this world with insanity. The unfathomable greed and manipulations that surround oh so many tales, such as nokia's misadventures with microsoft, megaupload's true reasons for being shutdown, the feverish, suicidal drive for "austerity" and restrictive copyrights by the governments, the state of denial many humans live in regards to common-sense, and reason...
Sometimes having the worlds knowledge at the reach of our fingers, and the skills to peruse it makes one wonder if there's truth in the old saying "ignorance is bliss"...

Furthermore, being currently a lone, wandering wolf without a pack, there are often little things I miss in my present life. A decent, cozy place to stop by and share a drink and have a pleasant chat with other night-walkers (preferably with soccer and african-themed music banned from the spot), some like-minded people devoted to causes worthy enough to be sworn by, and someone warm enough to lose myself with trust and devotion... these are the little things that I value the most.

Oh yeah, and a forest to call my own. Did you know that 85% of the portuguese forest is "owned" by privates? So, most people, when gathering a herb, tasting a berry, hunting or trekking in the woods are either poaching or trespassing according to the law...

So, be it in digital otherworlds or in materia mundi, if you choose the path of freedom you risk being branded an outlaw. What a fun little world eh?

P.S. damn cold...

I developed a sort of fascination in regards to the history of light, non-metallic armors. The troublesome part of this is that, regardless how cheap and widespread they may have been, few traces remain due to decay. Japanese samurai sometimes favored armor made out of leather scales, there's plenty of evidence of the usage of hardened leather in several instances, but what about other materials? Wicker has seen some use in helmets and shields and linen was more popular, and affordable than bronze in the age of Alexander the Great (linothorax), but I wonder how many other clever cheap methods of protection the ancient warriors found, other than the trusty shield (invaluable against arrows, darts and sling stones).

For quite a long while, the sword as a weapon was terribly expensive and required a good degree of skill to manufacture. The spear seems to have been, in most ages, the most popular primary weapon even when the sword was available. Daggers and axes were the secondary weapons of choice well into the age of the vikings. Metallic armor and long blades were the privilege of nobility and the wealthy. For a while I considered how could, given these factors, that the sword was so common to the celts, until I've come upon the idea that most combats were small-scaled and involved an elite. As the combats became more widespread and involved more people, the spear and the javelin once again took the spotlight. Thus its only fair to assume that most armors had the most common weapons in mind: spears and arrows, against whom plenty of light armor types could be pretty serviceable..

An article that claimed that a study from Utah university in regards to a link about visiting other persons walls and depression caught my eye. It alleges that people tend to manufacture such "perfect lives" that the observers get the feeling that people around them are so much happier than they are, thus slowly starting to feel miserable themselves.

Fun... for the common mortals that is. Those who train themselves in non-verbal language are always watching and reading into those "cultivated movies" of one's life, and thus one knows: lives are often pretty far from the make-believe existence people would like them to be.

That fact makes me feel rather safe in my tranquil, honest solitude.

I'm too naive. I was somehow hoping that portuguese news would pick up that juicy bit along Standard's & Poor's faq in regards to the last downgrade, which I quote:

In our view, however, the financial problems facing the eurozone are as much a consequence of rising external imbalances and divergences in competitiveness between the EMU’s core and the so-called “periphery”. As such, we believe that a reform process based on a pillar of fiscal austerity alone risks becoming self-defeating, as domestic demand falls in line with consumers’ rising concerns about job security and disposable incomes, eroding national tax revenues.

But alas, It was not meant to be. No public anger for politics missing the whole point, no constructive conversations in regards to the future, only outrage at the rating agencies themselves, portuguese journalists quoting each others saying essentially that the answers from governments to the present crisis were "not enough", instead of "fundamentally flawed", and... more austerity.

Am I the only one reading madness in this picture? Even if the flaws of the current path weren't so evident to plain sight at even the most basic of levels, why isn't there public discourse over this issue? Can portuguese journalists read english or should we start raising the censorship flag already?

Had a field day "scaring" my workmates over the first friday 13th of the year. Muahahahahah.
So whats new?

-Thus far it seems Ive been vindicated in regards to my view of Windows Phone 7 as a failure.
And about "austerity" and "freshwater" economics. Go back to school, pack of morons...
Shocked about the new cuts from the rating agencies? I guess maybe they are taking clues
from the same sources I read from in regards to the present economic crisis.

-There's a whole "dark ages" feeling going around with all the feudal relationships and tithes
thing taking place. A return to "serfdom" seems to be fashionable these days, with merchant
princes taking the place of the nobility. And, as a reaction, vigilantism is growing to new heights,
giving birth to "Robin Hoods"... who said the world isn't fair?

-More copyright laws eh? Pfft.. I was born in an unfortunate year, 1978, in such regards. Copyright
law essentially plundered the public domain, failing in its contract towards the people and the
common good. Civil disobedience is only the most fairest of answers in said regard, until something
changes. And all that patent circus is abhorrent towards mankind's development.
So, legislate away. In the real world, ridiculous stuff will simply render its purpose meaningless.
Focus on the services side if you want to make money from software, because laws are only making
things worse these days, not better. "Reasonable" is in the same list as "common-sense" as endangered
species...

-I've finally found a decent turn-based fantasy strategy game. It took quite a long time, after
Dominions 3 and King of Dragon Pass to find something worthy. It's called Fall from Heaven 2
and it's a civilization IV mod. So, in this age, going one step back means going two steps forward, eh?
As a plus, civ IV uses Python as the scripting language. ..

-Been a bit gloomy due to dietary changes. Making an experiment in regards to reducing sugar
and dairy.. the world may be crumbling around me, but I feel un-phased. Must.. have.. energy.. *j/k*
That and the present cold. That darn shift in the Gulf stream and northern winds.. brrrr....
P.S. the reason of this experiment has to do with allergies, but make a search about bovine leukemia
and have fun reading... and cancer due to growth hormone.

-New anime season has started. Found the "slashdot" of japanese perviness, sankaku...

-Alltop and Topsite have been quite useful these days in regards to finding stuff.

-It seems that these days I'm not just doing support to M$ and Linux systems. Android & Apple stuff
are taking equal shares of my tech time these days. It's ironic that I find the unholy trio of languages
distasteful (C#, Java and Obj-C). Oh well, ultimately it's all C, deep down under... *yawns*
As a plus, a major Ubuntu version for tablets has come to life. Let's us see how that goes, in the
void being left by Meego and its derivatives...

P.S. here's the perfect image for this friday 13th with Portugal 2012 in mind.



EDIT: About the rating agencies, I guess they really do. LOL...